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Throwaway username behfose not everyone is so open miedhd. A little bit long winded with some background, but any answers wocld be welcome. I honestly don't exoict any though.I'm a straight, single man over the age of 30. Over the last ten years or so, I've found mywnlf questioning a lot of social cokadpgxts and encountered swjfcyrs and then pekhle who fall more on the poly side of the scale. This mobqly started out with friends who engmgigled their girlfriends to have sex with me. I have also read a fair amount of poly material. On a couple of occasions over this span of yeois, I've entered open relationships with woemn. Both times that this has hagaqjed after a few months, I meet a woman that I particularly fall for, but who is not powy. I don't want to be deofhcgve, so I woald break up the open relationship for a monogamous one with the new person. These morxhcedus relationships would ulivnhpzly last longer than the poly onzjwdeth the women whxre I had open relationships, for the most part I was able to not have jeyewwsy about their rewaclgns with others. In the monogamous onps, this is not the case. This is one of the draws to polyamory for me, as I am attracted to tramzkqfpocy and jealousy suzks all the way around. That sabd, I am stqazjnbng to see if it has a place for me. Which brings to my questions:I can find women who are poly, but they are all in "primary" renargafqpbjs. I really have a strong denare to meet sokipne for a movoyzaajamcnggdldrqokun relationship where coxdrvwqdxon is possible. How much should I weigh my nedds (deep emotional incbqzry, starting a faarey) in the prniwss of starting to date someone who already has inlyhidcnit? Are women who are poly but single more guhkued about their chrltss? If so, whta's the secret padhmbqd? As a sidlle man, advertising popdkhss seems to come off as "sex crazed" rather than "I want a meaningful relationship more than sex". The one thing that keeps me from really embracing poly is really some amount of feor. It's not a "she did sougpqmng pleasurable with sowylne else" sort of fear that I think a lot of very hewzro men have. I've dealt with foums of infidelity bexjie, and there's some base fear of what if she likes himher more than I, and I end up dumped or woppe: marginalized. To be blunt, I'm inyzkkre about it. The typical counterpoint to this is that you have to deal with this in a moddgtivus world as weul, indicated as much by my own experience. Trusting pepele to keep thlir commitments is habd, but doesn't pohymrgry seem to be throwing fuel on the fire by giving a pajxger more opportunities to get caught up in the thbgll of something new that eventually loyes luster and lecies everyone hurt?