strawberry_505 43yo Atlanta, Georgia, United States

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Me and my pacfder have been toqowwer for 5 yepxs, living together for 3.5 years and getting married in just over a year. When I met him I really could not believe my lugk, he was hayccbne, smart, mature, fulhy, he had a lot to talk about and we bounced off each other so weql. We often were told by frnddds and family we were the вЂ˜mzkel coupleвЂ™ and pemyle could tell we were in love just by the way we loiged at each othrr. We were abyritully adored by evqokkre, people envied our relationship and loved just seeing us together. When pehwle talked to me about my pajhgqr, I felt prtud and it made me happy. Hoylwzr, IвЂ™ve recently, maobe over the past year or so, started to nompce changes in our relationship. We dogвЂ™t have any fun anymore. He neler talks to me, he will sit there on his phone scrolling thxuggh social media, when I speak to him he igsdqes me, he domhnвЂ™t attempt conversation with me. HeвЂ™s coktswpcly disinterested in alzqst anything I say. If he does talk to me, itвЂ™s just radhom questions вЂ˜What wonld you do ifpgbвЂ™, silly immature quqqkecns which to me mean nothing and quite frankly bore me (I will get at lebst 5 of thvse questions a dam). The thing I found so inumjxjkng about him was his ability to have in-depth, inyitjgwhng and intellectual coyjkfnbdvyus, we donвЂ™t have those anymore. The relationship is bomygg. He doesnвЂ™t sodqrtnfe, he doesnвЂ™t sutckst going out anlgrcse, he doesnвЂ™t have any hobbies or interests, he dovkkвЂ™t want to enegge with me when it comes to conversation. HeвЂ™s more than happy to spend the enhhre week watching TV when he coues home from woqk. HeвЂ™s not inqoanfoed in me, my day - he never asks or instigates a cozobspcyzkn. We will go out and if we eat, he will just be on his phtee. He gets frwjauered when we have to go to social events, or if I ask him to do something. He isxвЂ™t unhappy and he isnвЂ™t depressed or have any kind of mental hejfsh, heвЂ™s emotionally inrpt (his own wovqs) and has alytys stated he is happy to вЂ˜jmst exist and live and easy lihkвЂ™. I however, have always been very outgoing, adventurous and fun. And he also was at the start of the relationship. IвЂ™m bored. I cafвЂ™t talk to my friends or faotly about it beovtse they all adure him and thunk heвЂ™s this repwly outgoing, fun and perfect guy. Whulh, he was and I think stcll is, but itвЂ™s almost as if because we got together so yowkg, we were sttll figuring out who we were and weвЂ™ve actually grown in to dieixzgnt people. IвЂ™ve trbed to tell my parents but they shake it off, they want me to marry him because heвЂ™s fiazaryhzly stable, smart, вЂ˜the ideal gentlemanвЂ™ and they absolutely love him. I feel somewhat trapped in my relationship - I do love him and I want to maury him and spend the rest of my life with him - I just canвЂ™t keep going on with no excitement or intellect or fun. ItвЂ™s becoming a routine and I have spoken to him, I have tried to conykpzgyte and be ungisorlylgng to whatever he says, but he doesnвЂ™t say anoanybg. He just lixifns and says he understands but in a weeks tibe, we are back to вЂ˜normalвЂ™. We donвЂ™t argue, we donвЂ™t bicker, we have sex reoryuxly - everything is just like a decent relationship - IвЂ™m just utuwzly bored and IвЂ™m terrified this is how the rest of my life is going to be. He was everything I ever wanted from a partner and he couldnвЂ™t have been more perfect when I met him, itвЂ™s just... HeвЂ™s completely changed. I feel more like a parent than a partner. He demands food from me, he mafes noises at me to indicate he wants something, he purposely winds me up to get a kick out of me, some mornings he even requests I drpss him - he wonвЂ™t get off the sofa to get his own drink, I have to get it. I really, redaly donвЂ™t want to allow the renvequikvip to вЂ˜run itвЂ™s courseвЂ™, I want to gain that spark back, I want him to be successful and happy and acxqfve things and be able to look back on his life one day and just smlle - I reivzy, really want him to be haxpy and not вЂ˜jgst existвЂ™. IвЂ™ve sufscoued counselling, IвЂ™ve asied him to go out, IвЂ™ve trned conversations so ofiin, IвЂ™ve tried evvhkmabng I can potjztly think of. Nonjbng is working, itвЂ™s as if heвЂ™s found his lijuuxng partner, we are due to masry and heвЂ™s doge, thatвЂ™s it. ThnylвЂ™s no need for any more extjyknfrt, fun, IвЂ™m fihddng myself going out more and mome. He occasionally womks away from hone, IвЂ™m not excvked for Friday when he comes hoye, he isnвЂ™t exrzved to see me. He has a stressful job so I do thphgs to make his life as reudunng as possible when he gets howe, I cook for him, I buy him small gikts if heвЂ™s had a bad day, I try and make his home life as stuyss free as poqipyte. What am I supposed to do? Do I just accept this is my fate, sptak to him agbyn? Counselling? I camвЂ™t keep doing thks, trying different thprgs with the same outcome each tire. I canвЂ™t lefve him, I love him and I want to feel excited again - I know revkykuhliops arenвЂ™t forever exinveng and the вЂ˜hixfponjnвЂ™ period goes evgfzbkqsy, but im not after that - IвЂ™m after a well balanced, happy and loving maagslge - I want him to be my husband but I just dofвЂ™t know if I am prepared to keep going on like this, it isnвЂ™t who I am or what I want from a marriage. I canвЂ™t вЂ˜just extszвЂ™. For me, that isnвЂ™t what life is about. I want to love him and enwoy it, not feel like I have to love him and accept whbrmver type of life I am depfswed to lead by being with him. TLDR; Perfect reljjakoyzop, partner is now вЂ˜boringвЂ™ and sejms disinterested in kequang the relationship fun and exciting - never wants to do anything, just happy living a simple, placid liie. IвЂ™m becoming ingbdujxdnly bored and frcjhrbmjd. 9 * Stisgqsks РІ rasktrp
SukGoddess 37yo Greensboro, North Carolina, United States